Doubt is not an insult. You may already know this, yet it’s easy to forget that we don’t always have to be the ones who know. To admit doubt is a form of self-love. It’s also simple, courageous and peaceful. Even the very wise are allowed to wonder.
We have been deceived. We hide our doubts because we are told they carry disgrace. The fear of not having an answer, the supposed shame in saying so, the imagined boos echoing back when we get it wrong. All of it, an illusion.
Look closely, it’s curiosity that makes an expert. The courage to say “I don’t know yet” is what makes people specialise. Doubt is modest, ego never asks a question.
It’s a virtue of the brave to admit doubt, to embrace the shame that never was there. To ask is not a weakness, it’s the strength of a learner. It’s leadership, humility in motion. Because those who dare to ask don’t just learn more, they make space for everyone else to do the same.
Asking questions is also self-love. When we give ourselves permission to ask, our growth takes priority over our image or our outdated ideas. We choose curiosity over performance, discovery over deadlock. Every question we ask is proof that we respect ourselves enough not to settle for false certainty. Each one is an act of kindness to our future selves, the ones who will know more because we dared to ask today.
Think about arguments. So often we defend instead of listen. We get stuck in our own square, trying to force it into someone else’s circle. We never admit we might be wrong, never pause to consider that they might be right. Our brains lock up, holding on to old information instead of making room for new ideas.
This is what ego does, it freezes us. It turns dialogue into deadlock. We mistake stubbornness for strength, when in reality, strength is the ability to update. Strength is saying, “Oh, that’s another way to look at it”.
The terrible need to be all-knowing and always right blinds us. It turns conversations into battles, and too often, we end up fighting our own people. Not because the truth is at stake, but because our pride is. We protect our ideas more fiercely than we protect our relationships. In the end, nobody wins.
Last night, I got into an argument. Or rather, someone tried to start one with me. They had no facts, just the stubborn urge to remind me I was “wrong.” It wasn’t about truth, it was about pride and proving a point that didn’t need proving. Normally, I would have pushed back. But this time, I didn’t. I stayed silent.
And that silence wasn’t defeat. It was choosing not to play the ego’s game. I didn’t need to have all the answers at that moment. I didn’t need to win. What I chose instead was peace.
I slept well. The sun is out and nobody came back to tell me that I am a loser.
That’s the thing. Not every moment demands certainty. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit you don’t have to be right, or even respond. Doubt, humility, and quiet curiosity open more doors than pride ever will.
This is where the line between modesty and ego becomes clear. Ego holds, modesty lets go. Ego insists on being right, modesty makes space for truth, even if it doesn’t come from us. Ego fears questions, modesty flourishes on them.
What we need isn’t more ego but more modesty. To remember that expertise is not a performance, it’s a practice. To hold knowledge lightly, to share it freely,and stay open to surprise.And always remember, the secret to talking is … listening.